WrestlePocalypse Now
This Sunday, October 26th, brings the long-awaited return of Glory Pro Wrestling to the South Broadway Athletic Club (2301 S 7th St.), and with the WrestlePocalypse looming large, your friends at Mound City Messenger thought we’d get you ready with a quick recap of the fan-favorite, family friendly promotion’s last big show on Sunday, July 27th, Kody Lane’s Kristmas In July
Coming out of a hot Saint Louis summer, the crowd was happy to be in the air-conditioned majesty of the historic Casa Loma Ballroom, truly one of the best buildings for an event this huge. As large and well-built as Casa Loma is, it could barely contain the crowd’s enthusiasm as they settled into their seats, and the eloquent Ben Simon welcomed them, along with the audience watching at home on Highspots.TV to the start of the show.
Firing hard right out of the gates, the first match was a hotly contested four-way featuring the return of the athletic Myung-Jae Lee, the debut of hilarious irritant Shimbashi, the brutal combatant from “The Top Of The Pyramid” Dante Pharaoh, and the nonstop fountain of fur coat charisma Rahim De La Suede. After an intense series of exchanges, Pharaoh got blinded by a face full of mist from Lee, leading to an aerial attack from Shimbashi, followed by a kick and a pin for the win from the man who “weighs in at 170 Suede”!
Following a grueling Road Warrior Cup tournament, the tag team division looked to re-establish the pecking order in a triple threat match featuring everyone’s least favorite cousins at the BBQ, the Hate Keepers; the minutiae-obsessed “saviors of tag team wrestling,” The Premier; and the up-and-coming young team, The Revolution. After The Premier launched a surprise assault on the Hate Keepers during a speech about rules, the match quickly devolved into both teams beating down The Revolution—until Quest Parker caught Campbell Myers of The Premier with a surprise roll-up, securing The Revolution’s biggest win yet.
The sound of the theme song from The Last Dragon brought out Tootie Lynn, and sho nuff, “The Dragon Spirit of Saint Louis” is always one of the most popular athletes in the show. While the fans continued to cheer, her opponent Blair Onyx slid out of from the “Web of Darkness” chatting with someone high above named Source that only “The Arachnoid” could see. After refusing to attempt communication with whatever Onyx had following her, “The Little Blue Dragon” unleashed a fierce series of kicks and strikes before being on the receiving end of a Neutralizer from Onyx and getting pinned. The crowd was not happy.
The frowns quickly turned around when beloved tag team champions and 2025 Road Warrior Cup winners The New Guys came storming out of the curtain to ‘Mississippi Queen’ along with Mound City Messenger office favorite “Big Strong Boy” Ethan Price. The trio paused and pointed at the back to summon the “Very Nice, Very Evil” Danhausen, reappearing in Glory Pro after a long absence spent pursuing blimp monies and Babyhausen making.
As the group made their entrances, Scott Stanley of The New Guys asked for the microphone and solemnly told the crowd how important the Casa Loma was to him because this is where they won the titles, and unfortunately this is where they’d have to relinquish them due to him needing shoulder surgery. The audience was saddened, but Stanley brightened the mood by telling them he’d be back as soon as he was healed, The New Guys would fight their way back to the top, and in the meantime, his New Guys partner Jake Bosche would still be representing the team at shows as a singles star.
(In the time between the event and publishing this, Jake Bosche announced his retirement from wrestling due to injury. The situation must be devastating for a kind and driven young man who worked so hard to accomplish his goals, but it’s good he’s prioritizing his long-term health and well-being. The Messenger wishes him success and happiness in whatever he does next.)
Never one to miss a chance to bum people out further, “Warhorse” Jake Parnell interrupted the speech with his wet blanket brigade. The “Commissar of Nihilation” was joined on stage by former tag champs PME, who recently underwent a shift from dancing good-time guys to what appears to be angry mechanics. Tariffs have been tough on the auto industry, it seems.
Parnell launched into a speech about how he hated to see athletes get hurt and unable to compete before handing the mic to Marino T from PME, who explained he’d stubbed his toe walking in to the venue and wouldn’t be competing tonight. Taking his place would be the largest ringer possible, the surprise return of the monstrous multi-time Crown of Glory Champion Jake Something!
The last time the Glory Pro faithful saw Parnell and Something in a ring together, the two Jakes were attempting to murder each other with furniture for the Crown of Glory. That all seemed to be in the past as the three active competitors on each side tried to outdo each other with their special abilities until the hulking Something, who had earlier survived Danhausen’s evil curses and teeth assaults, stood guard while Parnell made Bosche submit to a crossface for perhaps the first “Triple Jake” decision in Glory Pro history.
Intermission followed, during which the performers line up behind tables to interact with fans, sell merchandise, and take pictures in a socially appropriate setting. It’s a cool part of independent wrestling that this is available, so for those interested in that sort of thing, this is the time to do it, not at the performers’ cars, hotels, or houses. Be cool about it.
Blasting Nickleback, the belligerent Draper bounded out of the curtain to bring the show back from intermission. He told the crowd that he chose his opponent today not because he’s sexist, but because he hates foreigners and short people, especially Canadians like her. The awesome Australian spitfire, “Heartbreakcore” Shazza McKenzie then outlasted the geographically challenged Draper’s attacks, before outsmarting him with her speed and agility, and then outwitting the much larger man for the win.
“The Deliverer” Moses’ recent decision to turn his back on the fans and transform Team Moses into a team of one has sent ripples through the roster. The Glory Pro family’s resident parental figure, Dan the Dad, decided it was time to give his wayward son a stern talking-to about his selfish attitude. The last time he tried, even using Moses’ middle name didn’t do the trick.
This time, “Your Father’s Favorite Wrestler” came prepared: coffee cup in hand, khaki shorts pressed, and New Balance sneakers double-knotted, ready to deliver some physical fatherly advice. When the two met in the ring, it seemed Moses wanted to make peace with a handshake. But as Dan the Dad cautiously accepted, Moses pie-faced him, igniting a back-and-forth battle that ended in disqualification after Moses leveled Dan with a steel chair.
The crowd was left stunned and deflated—and it seems The Dad won’t just be disappointed anymore; now, he’s angry.
The Women’s World Crown Championship title match was up next, featuring reigning champion “Lucha Unicorn” Laynie Luck against the athletically gifted up-and-coming challenger Maggie Lee. Lee relied on her height, aggression, and a touch of chicanery to try to dethrone the champ, but Laynie proved her skills are more than just luck. Using her strength and experience, she overcame Lee in one of the hardest-fought matches on the card—a bout that showcased exactly why these women are frequent fixtures on national television.
The sweet voice of the sainted Dolly Parton signaled the arrival of current Crown of Glory Champion “The Southern Flamingo” Kody Lane to his namesake event. The only man who can look tough in sparkly overalls stepped into the ring to face an even more intimidating sight—a black leather–clad behemoth already waiting for him. The colossus of punishment, Donovan Dijak, towered over the undeterred champion “Koko,” making it clear that he intended to claim the Crown of Glory for himself, as the ever-dapper Ben Simon handled ring announcements for the main event
Both men battered each other from pillar to post, stairs to chairs, and everywhere in between. The match featured jaw-dropping displays of violence—Dijak nearly hurled his opponent into the crowd before being kicked into the barrier himself, while Lane showed incredible strength by hoisting the much larger Dijak onto his shoulders and slamming him onto the stage. In the end, the aerial prowess of the springboarding “Southern Flamingo” prevailed, as Lane hit a vicious-looking back senton to secure the pinfall victory.
The resilient champion had barely a moment to savor his huge victory over a gargantuan threat before another came charging his way. Jake Something, the mountain of a man from Michigan and the longest-reigning Crown of Glory Champion, snatched the mic from Ben Simon mid-announcement to declare his intent to reclaim the title on October 26th at WrestlePocalypse. He vowed that no one could stop him from bringing the belt back home to the Great Lakes State forever. Ever the fighting champion, the fearless Kody Lane stood ready to throw down on the spot, but the challenger merely scoffed and walked away
Want to know what happens next? Will Kody Lane retain his title against another massive challenge, or does Something wicked his way come? Which tag team will outlast the competition to claim the vacant United Glory Championship? Will Dan the Dad or Moses have to say “sorry” (and really mean it) in the Loser Must Apologize match? And can you find a better time with your family for a better price anywhere in STL?
Find out the answers to all these questions and more this Sunday, October 26th, at WrestlePocalypse! Join the Glory Pro family at the South Broadway Athletic Club — doors at 2 p.m., bell time is 3 p.m., and the fun is all day. We’ll see you there!
For more information and tickets, go to https://www.gloryprowrestling.com . Catch up on past events with Glory Pro Wrestling’s weekly show ASCEND, available on their YouTube channel.
