Glory Pro: Wrestlepocalypse At Casa Loma
Photo by author @sonicgallerystl
Your friends here at the Mound City Messenger believe that the Saint Louis area has both the best in sports and the best in the arts, so of course we have the best in the one form of entertainment that contains them both, pro wrestling! As part of our commitment to bringing STL continued coverage of everything you love (or don’t know you love yet, but soon will), our intrepid staff went to Casa Loma Ballroom on November 24th, 2024 to witness ‘Wrestlepocalypse,’ the monthly installment of Glory Pro Wrestling.
Being in the geographic center of the USA has given our town some unique opportunities, including getting to historically be the center of the world for the unique combination of road show pageantry, live theater, and combat sports that is pro wrestling. Many local promotions have come and gone here since the days when Sam Muchnick ran both the St Louis Wrestling Club and the National Wrestling Alliance, and Wrestling At The Chase was the social event of the weekend, but few have captured the excitement and well, professionalism the way that Glory Pro has. The promotion has developed a reputation for being one of the better family entertainment values for the consumer’s money and this show worked hard to prove it.
The event started at 3 PM but early arrivals to the long-standing dance hall on Iowa Avenue in the Cherokee Street Neighborhood were treated to pre-show entertainment as some younger performers got to have a match against each other while the crowd settled in. With a ring and barrier set up in the center, chairs and tables for patrons filled the rest of the Casa Loma’s 18,000 sq ft dance floor next to the bandstand that was converted into an entrance ramp for wrestlers to preen and showcase their personalities on the way to and from the ring. Along with the VIP seating in the balcony and the two bars open to serve the guests, the ballroom was full of activity and bodies in motion but never uncomfortably so as everyone waited for the main show to begin.
Ring announcer Ben Simon welcomed the people in the building and the folks at home watching on streaming site Highspots.TV to the start of the event, grabbing the crowd’s attention like a muezzin’s call to prayer as ‘Wrestlepocalypse’ charged headlong into it’s undercard:
A favorite in both STL and our office, “Big Strong Boy” Ethan Price kicked off the show losing to Effy, who seemed unsure if he wanted to wrestle Price or ask him for a date. Hope it works out for those crazy kids.
“The Phoenix Princess” Aminah Belmont (shown below) made sure the crowd knew just how much she didn’t like them before being put in her place by match victor “The Arachnid” Blair Onyx.
Fiery up-and-coming star Myung-Jae Lee (shown below) used his quickness and athletic moves to wow the crowd before losing to the hybrid MMA viciousness of Mat Fitchett.
Moses “The Deliverer”, Tootie Lynn, and Dan the Dad, three of the promotion’s regularly booked highlights, grouped together to take out a team of ne’er-do-wells consisting of “The Huntsman” Jay Marston, “Cajun Kid” Shane Boucher, and “Uncle T” Solomon Tupu. Dan once again showed the world why he’s your father’s favorite wrestler by never spilling a drop of his coffee as he lifted Marston in the air while Moses and Lynn looked on in amazement (shown below.)
“Very Nice, Very Evil” Danhausen made his return to Glory Pro after his latest tour of the world collecting teeth, monies for a blimp, and action figures. He got to use some of the teeth in his match but still fell to the savage assault of the dastardly “Magnum DD” Dak Draper, whose brutal victory deflated the crowd, ended the undercard, and took the show into intermission.
One of the advantages a fan of local promotions like Glory Pro has over larger national competitors is the opportunity to get up close and personal with the performers. During intermission, both the talent and the interested enthusiasts ritualistically line up across a long row of tables for the chance to sell merchandise, buy autographs, and pose for paid pictures. Thankfully Danhausen was well enough after the beating he received to both continue his quest for blimp monies and eye-curse our photographer for unplanned shots at the merch table (shown below.)
After the crowd had a chance to move around a bit, refill their drinks, and empty their wallets in support of their favorite competitor, Ben Simon’s dulcet tones brought the crowd back to order to start the matches for the second half of the ‘Wrestlepocalypse’ card, all of which would be contests for championship titles:
The first title to be defended would be the recently established Women’s World Crown as champion and original tournament winner “Too Turnt Lucha Unicorn” Laynie Luck (shown below) won a hard fought Triple Threat Match against worthy challengers Allie Katch and Maggie Lee.
The sound of David Bowie’s ‘Fame’ announced the arrival of charismatic superstar Rahim De La Suede (shown below,) who slinked and strutted his way to the ring to meet his opponent.
The death march drums of ‘Bewitched’ by Swedish doom metal maestros Candlemass brought the Commissar of Nothing, “Warhorse” Jake Parnell (shown below) seething into the competition.
Ostensibly a match for Parnell’s Crown of Glory Championship, he seemed less interested in defending his title and more in beating his disdainful worldview into De La Suede as painfully as possible as part of his never-ending quest to get the fans to “Embrace Nihilism.” Parnell made his point, pummeling De La Suede so bad he ended up hanging off the railing, looking to the fans for the strength to continue (shown below.)
It worked too! Since in the cosmos of pro wrestling, sincere emotional crowd support always overcomes severe physical beatings, De La Suede fired back up, hit some flashy moves, and would have won if not for the untimely attack of his frustrated former Crew-mates Mike Outlaw and Cinko, whose assault behind the ref’s back allowed the Warhorse to ride off with another title win. It’s amazing how many of these things might be avoided with some team building exercises beforehand.
The emotional centerpiece of the show was next, as long time United Glory Tag Team champions The Philly & Marino Experience (Marino T & Philly C) accepted one last desperate challenge from perpetual title pursuers The New Guys (Jake Bosche & Scott Stanley). After a hard-fought but fairly contested match between the two crowd favorite teams, The New Guys bested PME, who were unsure how to react to their sudden loss (shown below.)
Would they attack with the gold? Would they run away? No, Marino and Philly would be honorable men today and put the titles around the winning waists of Bosche and Stanley to crown the self-described “straight outta training” kids as The New Champs (shown below.)
The crowd pulsed with anticipation as the main event kicked off with the appearance of spectacularly flashy Glory Pro regular “The Southern Flamingo” Kody Lane (shown below,) who last month issued an open challenge for his A1 Zero Gravity Championship title.
Unexpectedly, the challenge was answered by international star Ricky Starks (shown below,) who has some history with Saint Louis and Glory Pro but in the five or so years he’s been gone has made a name for himself wrestling legends like Sting and CM Punk. After taking a bit of an unexpected break from performing, Starks was looking to reestablish himself by taking the Zero Gravity Championship from Lane.
The fierce back and forth battle that followed the ringing of the bell seemed like it could go in either combatant’s favor at any moment but showed why both belonged in the main event. The stalemate went on close to twenty minutes with no clear victor when the promotion’s professional stick-in-the-mud and perpetual reason we can’t have nice things “Warhorse” Jake Parnell showed up to blast Lane in the face with the Crown of Glory title belt behind the ref’s back and try to give a confused Starks the win (shown below.)
Not wanting a tainted victory, Starks refused to take advantage of the prone Lane and a fracas ensued with Parnell. Referee Alex Strahan caught sight of the non-competitors smacking each other around, called the affair a no contest, and Lane kept his title. Parnell tried to skulk off the scene with his weaponized title belt when do-gooders Ethan Price and Dan the Dad came from the back and hoisted him into the ring for Lane to get a measure of revenge on his long time antagonist. Seeing both titles together, Kody Lane grabbed the microphone and issued a challenge to Parnell. January 4th. Delmar Hall. Zero Gravity Title. Crown of Glory. Winner takes all!
Want to know what happens next with the characters and athletes of Glory Pro? Come to ‘OUTATIME,’ the big winter show at Delmar Hall on January 4th, 2025, to find out for yourself! If you’re looking for a chance to make some noise, cheer your favorites, boo the ones you don’t like, or just generally stop taking life so seriously and have some fun, this promotion has something everyone will like and presents it in a package safe for all to enjoy. Tickets are available at the Pageant Box Office or via Ticketmaster online. Go to https://www.gloryprowrestling.com for more information about Glory Pro and links to their YouTube show ASCEND to see what you’ve missed.
Correction: The article was posted with an incorrect date for the recent event at Casa Loma. The date is now correct.
