Glory Pro’s Fearful Return

It’s October, when the weather gets a little cooler and the vibes get a lot spookier. To get in the spirit of things, on Sunday, Oct. 25^th at the South Broadway Athletic Club (2301 S 7^th St.), our friends at Glory Pro are unleashing their Halloween-themed show Fear Of The Dark for the ghosts, ghouls, and creeps of all types. It’s been a minute since we’ve seen them, so let’s do a recap from their summer show to get you ready.

Live from the historic Casa Loma Ballroom (3354 Iowa Ave) on Sunday, July 26^th, Glory Pro presented The Heat Is On, and it certainly was, both physically and metaphorically. A buzz filled the air as the crowd filed in; their hero, ‘Big Strong Boy’ Ethan Price, was finally going to get his title opportunity against the newly nefarious Crown of Glory Champion Kody ‘KoKo’ Lane, and they hoped to see him win the day like he had their hearts.

As they settled in, ever-dapper announcer Ben Simon welcomed them to the show and brought out the first competitors. Strolling out of the curtain in Chicago-branded clothing didn’t win the wrestler named GPA any fans, and his chances of winning anything quickly disappeared when his opponent, ‘The Whole Thang’ Rahim De La Suede, strutted out next. A constant favorite of the Glory Pro family, De La Suede took out his recent title frustrations on GPA before getting the quick win. Ben Simon met him in the ring with a mic.

De La Suede told the crowd he appreciated them, but he was tired of being constantly screwed over, so De La Suede was officially retired. He decreed that he was King Rahim now, and through his royal powers he summoned a crown into the ring for a coronation by Simon. ‘The Whole Thang’ is dead, long live ‘The Whole Kang’, King Rahim!

‘The Gentleman Barbarian’ Bruss Hamilton is a human cube of menacing muscle. ‘The Street Reaper’ Mike Outlaw is, well, Mike Outlaw. So when the two met in the next match, Hamilton attempted to use his powerlifter’s strength to steamroll Outlaw, who brought the skills and toughness that have made him a Triple Crown Champion in Glory Pro to chop down the big man and get the win. Outlaw and his manager Cinko seemed more comfortable with the cheers they get from the crowd now.

Next up, ‘The Deliverer’ Moses continued the recruiting drive for his Team Moses when he teamed with high energy crowd pleasers The Revolution for a trios match against the punishing Dante Pharaoh  & the ever-greasy PME. All the time Moses has spent whispering in the ear of Anthony Lopes paid off when, after winning in an underhanded fashion during a series of miscommunications, Lopes accepted the Team Moses shirt, leaving a crushed Quest Parker in the ring. Is The Revolution truly over?

Glory Pro played host to a WWE ID Women’s Championship match between long-time champion ‘Lucha Unicorn’ Laynie Luck and ‘Heartbreakcore’ Shazza McKenzie, with both the title and a chance for McKenzie to get into the WWE ID program on the line. The two best friends and fellow United Glory Tag Champions kept it respectful at first, but the competition eventually turned fierce as the stakes truly set in. The ‘Lucha Unicorn’ bested a heartbroken ‘Heartbreakcore’ after a roll up exchange, keeping her title and contract for another day, and the two tag partners walked out together as the show went into intermission.

Intermission is the part of the event where everyone gets up, buys wrestler merch, takes pictures, refills food/drinks, and generally mingles. To do the intermission thing well when you’re here, remember to respect lines, tip your service staff, and shower. Please shower.

With the heat now back on, the story of the first match after intermission wasn’t ‘Your Favorite Red Flag’ Anna Ray walking out in a Cubs jersey to irritate the crowd. It wasn’t even ‘The Little Blue Dragon’ Tootie Lynn’s awesome new hairdo. The story was that Tootie Lynn has had enough screwing around; ‘The Dragon Spirit of STL’ is now fully awake, and she is pissed.

Ray jump-started the match with an early assault; Lynn fired up, and after some back-and-forth, the black belt reminded her opponent who is the most effective striker in the Glory Pro world by crumpling Ray with a swift kick to the head, 1, 2, 3, could’ve kept counting until dinner.

Afterwards, like a devil at the crossroads, ‘The Deliverer’ Moses stalked out of the curtain, offering a deal to Lynn. He held a Team Moses shirt while encouraging her to continue, and The Dragon’s long-simmering rage was finally unleashed with a series of dishonorable kicks to a downed Ray. Looking pleased with herself, Lynn accepted the shirt and walked out with Moses while the stunned crowd booed them both.

We here at MCM still got love for you, Tootie. We’re always down for our STL folks, even when they take a different path. We’re just gonna have to do it from about 10 feet away now; those kicks are scary. Make it 20, you’re fast.

The crowd was already in a bad mood, but that dastardly Dan ‘The Working Man’ Adams coming out of the curtain next made it even worse. They let their fallen father figure know just what they thought of him with an assortment of creative signs, gestures, and taunts that can’t be repeated in polite company.

Having already come out a long time ago, crowd favorite leader of the NGBC, Effy sashayed through the curtain to lead his popular sing-along Elton John theme ‘Goodbye Yellow Brick Road’…or he would have if Dan Adams hadn’t dumped him straight out of the ring in the middle of the crescendo. Damn you, Dan Adams, this is why we can’t have nice things.

Where’s Jack Tunney when you need him? Someone really needs to talk to Glory Pro ownership about the way this Dan Adams guy behaves.

Effy has been a world champion all over, and is a veteran of many death matches, so no sneak attack is going to keep him off his game for long. Full of fire and what he calls ‘gay rage’, Effy made Adams pay with his trademark vaguely vulgar offense. The competitors were evenly matched, but as Effy looked to take control, a miscalculation distracted the ref, and Adams took advantage to cheat.

‘The Working Man’ got the job done the only way he knows how, with a pipe wrench to the gut, a backpack stunner, and a pin. Goodbye, yellow brick road.

The Women’s World Crown was defended by the champion Maggie Lee’s tag team partner Heather Reckless against larger challenger Allie Katch. Reckless used aggressive limb attacks and dirty tricks to try to make up for the size difference, but eventually Katch had enough and just spiked Reckless with a piledriver for the win!

Never one to take the easy route, Katch then entered herself in a championship tournament the next month to prove that she was the rightful champion when Glory Pro introduced Women’s World Crown, their first ever all women’s card. Katch proved her point; you can watch for yourself here:

Maggie Lee was obviously not happy about losing a title without defending it. No one likes getting fired on their day off, so she’s negotiated a chance to take it back from Allie Katch at Fear Of The Dark.

The crowd came alive with chants for ‘Big Strong Boy’ Ethan Price as he approached the ring. This is what they came for, and as his music played, everyone in attendance knew that this was Ethan Price’s moment. He’s not just an MCM favorite; he’s the favorite. Though he’d been betrayed by so many friends along the way, it would all be worth it because now he’d get his hands on the Crown of Glory Championship.

Of course, ‘The Southern Flamingo’ Kody ‘Koko’ Lane disagreed, and he’s the longest-reigning Crown of Glory Champion for a reason. A muffled hush came over the crowd as Lane’s music played and he sauntered out from the back. No sane St. Louisan wants to boo during a Dolly Parton song, so the room collectively sat on its hands.

RIP Dolly Parton. Thanks for supporting literacy, and well, everything. You were a real one.

Once the final note from that sweet angel rang, the crowd was ready to pounce on Lane for turning his back on Price and them. We’re not sure if it’s possible to throw sound, but it felt like the words “fuck you, Kody” were being physically hurled at the champ, who took it all in stride, feathers unruffled.

We’d like to report that it was a good, clean, competitive match, but if you’ve gotten this far you already know that’s not how it went. After STL’s best ring announcer, Ben Simon, made the introductions, what followed could best be described as a frustrating travesty. Every time it looked like the heroic Price would overcome and take the title, Lane would up the ante with his vicious skills. It went like that until finally, in the center of the ring, Price had Lane in a top wrist lock and ready to submit. This was the moment. This was THE moment!

This was the moment that Dan Adams ran out to the ring apron to distract Price. While the ref was dealing with Adams, Lane blasted Price with the title belt to get the pin and retain the Crown of Glory. Damn you, Dan Adams!

‘The Southern Flamingo’ and ‘The Working Man’ proceeded to work over the prone Price as the crowd deflated. Who could defeat this depraved duo? Lane called for the microphone and told Price that he could never win because he was alone and didn’t have the numbers, then demanded his music.

What followed wasn’t dear, departed Dolly. It was a sound so loud that passing jets had to check their equipment as 4,000 lbs of raw heavy metal roared onto stage. The building shook with excitement. ‘Warhorse’ Jake Parnell was here to clean house.

Hold on. He’s healthy and back to ruling ass, so let’s bring him back to all caps with some gusto. It’s WARHORSE! WARHORSE!

WARHORSE was there to chase off Lane and Adams with the curl bar we assume he’s just carried around since he became a world record-holding weightlifter in his recovery time. No one wants to take a heavy metal bar wielded by a heavy metal maniac to the face, so they scattered and sprinted to the back as Parnell pulled Price in for a handshake.

What happens next? Will the team of WARHORSE and the Big Strong Boy finally teach those two a lesson? Will the recruits make Team Moses a lethal trio? Are the Collab back on the same page enough to defend the United Glory titles against PME? Can Mike Outlaw withstand the assault of the monstrous Lenny Mephisto? Is there going to be anything left after Maggie Lee and Allie Katch compete to decide who is truly the Women’s World Crown champion?

Find out the answer to all of this and more this Sunday, Oct. 25^th at the South Broadway Athletic Club when Glory Pro brings you Fear Of The Dark!

Get tickets and info on all things Glory Pro at https://www.gloryprowrestling.com

Photos courtesy of Mike Schoen Photography. See more of his excellent work @mschoen67 on Instagram or https://michaelschoenphotography.smugmug.com/. Thanks Mike, we appreciate you!

Special thanks to Robert Leach and Big Bad Barackus for providing us with wrestling history and background. We discovered the awesome world of STL wrestling by stumbling into a Glory Pro show a few years ago, but listening to their commentary helps us sound like we’ve been down forever.

Dream of someday trying to become one of the Glory Pro competitors? Want to learn the art and science of the craft from world-traveled, elite-level athletes? Now you have an opportunity, as Glory Pro presents STL Pro Wrestling Academy! If you think you have what it takes, find out more info at https://www.gloryprowrestling.com/training