Glory Pro Throws an Anniversary Party
Anniversaries are pretty cool things and should definitely be celebrated. The ninth is a strange one because it’s a long time, but not quite a decade, so you don’t get the satisfaction of a round number. The gift companies say that nine is the year for giving linen or leather, but the folks at Glory Pro are non-traditionalists, so instead of new bedding or that bondage harness you wanted, they’re giving you a wrestling show, the aptly-named ‘Anniversary IX’ at Casa Loma Ballroom (3354 Iowa Ave) on Sunday, Feb 22nd.
To get you ready to receive the gift of wrestling, here’s a recap of January’s rescheduled and rechristened Glory Pro event ‘Live At The Pageant IV’ from, shockingly enough, The Pageant (6161 Delmar Ave) on Jan 30th. Originally scheduled for the week prior at the smaller-sized Delmar Hall next door and titled ‘SLAMTASMIC’, the area’s sudden transformation into frozen tundra forced a lot of behind the scenes folks to make quick changes in the name of long-term safety.
So St. Louis wrestling fans weren’t just left out in the cold; the awesome staff at The Pageant found an availability in their calendar and redid their layout to fit the more intimate Glory Pro event. It worked; the venue looked great, and everyone was grateful to be there a few days later instead of stuck in a snowbank.
As the attendees filed in, the warm-up match mostly revolved around the crowd calling one of the grapplers a chicken. Once the poultry-based pestering had passed, ring announcer Ben Simon entered the ring to begin the show. Proudly sporting a fantastic new blue suit jacket, the suave Simon welcomed everyone in the building and watching at home on Highspots TV, but unfortunately, had to deliver the bad news that tonight would be the final broadcast on the streaming service. Time to go out with a bang.
Fresh from their day job tormenting school children across Jefferson County, the enormous O’Neal Brothers made their way to the ring for a tag match against the ad-hoc team of massive man-mound Marcus ‘Big Munch’ Muncherson and diminutive but flashy Jmal Swag. Eventually, the O’Neals got tired of picking on someone their own size and focused on Swag, who learned that being rapped to the ring by a Guinness record holder wouldn’t stop him from eating a double chokeslam and a pin.
The curtains didn’t part so much as dive out of the way as the human cube of menacing muscle ‘Gentleman Barbarian’ Bruss Hamilton came out to compete. Valiant town favorite ‘Big Strong Boy’ Ethan Price charged the ring to challenge, even feigning a heroic leap from the Pageant’s stage, but thought better and met Hamilton in the center. The struggle between the ‘Big Strong Boy’ and a large strongman was epic, with Price attempting to lift Hamilton and getting launched across the ring and into things more than once before Price got a sneaky suplex pin, leaving Hamilton enraged. Price might have been the victor of this match, but his chiropractor will be the only real winner here.
Team Moses only needs one member, or at least that’s what ‘The Deliverer’ had decided, and he’s willing to antagonize the crowd, intimidate the azure-clad announcer, and beat up a whole lot of people to prove that point. The Thoroughbreds and Cain & Hendrix entered the 3 Way Tag Team match with both members, but Moses very loudly chose to go it alone. Competing under lucha libre rules, all three teams flew around the ring at each other until it devolved into a 4 on 1 match, but that one was Moses, and that’s all he needed, so he won by delivering his flying bulldog to Hendrix for the three count.
Heather Reckless, representing the Elegance Brand as one half of the TNA Knockouts Tag Champions, flowed out to face the ever-popular ‘Heartbreakcore’ Shazza McKenzie. Once both petite powerhouses made it to the ring, it was obvious that they were opponents who could stand toe to toe and see eye to eye, so they beat the snot out of each other in a very even match. As soon as it seemed like McKenzie would get the upper hand, the other half of the TNA Knockouts Tag Champions, Maggie Lee, appeared to cause a distraction, which led to shenanigans with the tag belts and Reckless getting the pin.
Intermission time, when the crowd mingles, and the performers hustle their wares. Remember, the venue may go to a lot of trouble to make sure you feel at home, but you are not. Say please and thanks, line up correctly, tip your bartenders, wash your hands, don’t be a creep to the women, and for the love of all that is holy, keep your shoes on. You’ll make the world a better place just by following these grade school basics.
To paraphrase an entire generation of Southern Meemaws, Gran Grans, and Big Aunties, some folks just need a hiding to whoop some sense into them. ‘The Influence’ Sean Logan, a rebellious twit who refused to get off InstaTok long enough to lock up and wrestle a proper match, was just the type. As the show returned from intermission,‘Your Father’s Favorite Wrestler’ Dan The Dad tightened up the New Balance sneakers and came out to teach the lesson. After a back-and-forth, the belt came off, the buns were whipped, and Dan The Dad struck a victory for decency everywhere.
The buffet must’ve just run out of protein bars and grilled chicken, because as Dan celebrated, a furious Bruss Hamilton crashed the ring with the O’Neal Brothers to continue the beatdown they’d begun on The Dad last month. Always the hero, Ethan Price rushed from the back, separated the evildoers through taunts, and then made the stage-to-ring leap he’d teased earlier to fight them one at a time. Price got the upper hand, even managing to finally lift the massive Hamilton into a fireman’s carry to save Dan. The Dad’s pride got wounded in the process, though, and a dejected Dan looked somewhere between puzzled and pissed as he limped to the back, not even stopping when Price tried to return his sacred belt.
Originally scheduled to be a 4 Way for the Women’s World Crown Championship, the next bout became a Number One Contenders Match due to the absence of long-defending champ Laynie Luck. All four women came out with a chip on their shoulders, looking to punish the other competitors to get the spot. ‘Little Blue Dragon’ Tootie Lynn brought the power of head kicks to all, while Sierra brutalized and Blair Onyx stretched multiple opponents at the same time, before Maggie Lee took advantage and stole a pin.
After the cheap victory, Maggie Lee was joined by Heather Reckless to address the jeering crowd and send a message to Laynie Luck. Lee felt like she should be the Women’s World Crown Champion now, so to prove it Lee and Reckless were putting their TNA Knockouts Tag Titles on the line at Anniversary IX against Luck and a partner of her choosing in a Winner Takes All match!
The Revolution challenged Bang & Matthews for the United Glory Tag Championships, and both acrobatic teams seemed to enjoy the high ceiling of the Pageant. We could spend a lot of time describing the flashy moves and expert timing of these athletes, but it wouldn’t do them justice. If ‘Team Synchronized Kicking’ and ‘High Speed Aerial Attacks’ were Olympic categories, all four performers would be gold medalists. Go check it out on the Glory Pro YouTube channel for yourself. Bang & Matthews left with the titles while leaving the crowd exhausted.
The Triple Threat main event began with each adversary chasing the same conquest for a different reason. Kody ‘KoKo’ Lane wanted to defend his Crown of Glory Championship once again to become the longest-reigning titleholder. ‘The Whole Thang’ Rahim De La Suede wanted to win it for the first time. Having come back now from two injuries in as many years, the physically rebuilt and emotionally charged ‘Street Reaper’ Mike Outlaw wanted to prove he still belongs at the top, or at least stop former tag partner turned hated rival De La Suede from getting there. All three looked like they were willing to go as far as they had to.
So they did. Competing under Triple Threat rules meant that anything could happen, and all three men took advantage of it, with Outlaw even introducing a steel chair and metal-tipped cane into the match. The momentum shifted towards each man at different parts, with it looking like De La Suede would get the pin on Outlaw before the return of Cinco, Outlaw’s roguish manager, who grabbed the referee out of the ring to break it up. A few minutes later, Lane threw Outlaw out to get the pin on De La Suede and retain!
What happens next? Come to Casa Loma Ballroom this Sunday, February 22nd, for ‘Anniversary IX’ to find out for yourself! Can Rahim De La Suede and Mike Outlaw finally settle their differences with a Street Fight? Who will be both the TNA Knockouts Tag and Women’s World Crown Champion? Will Kody Lane survive the onslaught of unstable and unpredictable challenger Joey Janela? See all this and lots more at Glory Pro’s ‘Anniversary IX’, but please leave the sheets and straps at home.
Get info on all things Glory Pro by going to their website (https://www.gloryprowrestling.com)
Photos courtesy of Mike Schoen Photography. See more of his excellent work @mschoen67 on Instagram or https://michaelschoenphotography.smugmug.com/. Thanks, Mike, we appreciate you!
